Video Games are Real

Tag: newsletter

  • Blog Orgy Tour oh9-ohohoh10!

    Blog Orgy Tour oh9-ohohoh10!

    Tune up your virtual groupie van. I’m hitting the wwwD.O.T for a blog tour to promote Charactered Pieces: stories.

    Blog Orgy Tour oh9-ohohoh10

    promises to be a beautiful bastardization of legitimate blog posts and self-serving salesy talk, the likes of which will leave you itchy and raw.

    What is a blog tour? It’s a way for authors with no actual-tour budget to use the term “tour” when describing their marketing plans.

    Why a blog tour? The concept seems fun. I’m going to make stops at various personal and writing-related blogs, offering posts about Charactered Pieces, about me, and about writing in general, that will both promote my chapbook and honor the integrity of each blog I visit. These aren’t gimmicky advertisements. They are cleverly disguised advertisements.

    Where are the tour stops? Great question, hypothetical reader. See the poster below, or visit the dedicated Blog Orgy Tour page for all the stops. Also, as a bonus for die-hard groupies, some guest posts will contain notes regarding specific stories from Charactered Pieces. There are seven stories (eight if you count the acknowledgments, which is written in a story-like way), so there are seven author notes to track. A full list appears at the bottom of the dedicated page.
    Pela Via’s blog | 12-14-2009
    No More Hot Lunches for Eddie Socko (Mel Bosworth’s blog) | 12-15-2009
    Nik Korpon’s blog | 12-16-2009
    Another Example of Your College Degree Not Paying Off (Justin Holt’s blog) | 12-17-2009
    What to Wear During an Orange Alert | 12-18-2009
    Nothing to Say (xTx’s blog) | 12-21-2009
    What Does Not Kill Me (Richard Thomas’s blog) | 12-26-2009
    Colin McKay Miller’s blog | 12-28-2009
    Wrath of the Karpuk (Nicholas Merlin Karpuk’s blog) | 12-29-2009
    Troubadour 21 | 12-31-2009
    Bukowski’s Basement | 12-31-2009
    Craig Wallwork’s blog | 1-4-2010
    Medialysis (Gordon Highland’s blog) | 1-6-2010
    Lit Drift | 1-7-2010
    3AM Magazine | 1-11 through 1-16-2019 (that’s right, an entire week!)

    Some dates may change. It happens. But on the plus side, some dates may be added. If you want your blog to be consider for a stop, email me: caleb {at} calebjross {dot} com

    Be sure to leave feedback at these blogs. Let them know they matter.

  • Tom Waits Raps?

    Tom Waits Raps?

    Tom Waits stands as one of the most innovative artists alive, mixing crooner piano tunes, industrial percussion, and all the styles between in a way that compliments, though dissonantly, his abrasive voice. Woven throughout his catalog, there’s hip hop, too, from when hip hop was beat poetry. Take 1978’s “Step Right Up” from his Small Change album:

    Step Right Up

    Then, as Waits fell in with (helped create?) the garbage clank-boom crowd, he upped the percussion, giving his hip hop styles more “edge:”

    Top of the Hill

    Dog Door

    But, during last night’s Sonic Spectrum show with Roger Moore (a program I love, by the way), I heard a Tom Waits track that clearly marks the man’s furthest stretch into hip hop:

    Though my initial reaction was one of disgust. Not because Waits had further adopted hip hop (I like hip hop) but because he had done so to such a extreme level. I love Waits for the way he manipulates styles for his own use, not the other way around. He should mold hip hop; hip hop should not mold him.

    But, as Waits music tends to do, the track is growing on me. His first verse (after the chorus, which he performs as well) reminds me of (hed) P.E’s “Pac Bell,” with it’s vibrato gravel quality to the vocals.

    Pac Bell

    All in all, I’m glad Waits is still fighting. Considering his last two albums were a B-Sides collection followed by a live recording, I imagined that perhaps he was winding down. This track makes me think he’s possibly not quite done.

  • a new interview: Blank und Questions asks…ME!

    The Blank und Questions series is now two-interviews strong; though, incestuous they may be [1.) I interview Gordon Highland, 2.) He interviews me]. I’m looking to spread the influence. I’ve got a few more lined up, and I hope to add many conversations to the series at next year’s AWP Conference in Denver, CO. Will you be there?

    Gordon, author of Major Inversions, was kind enough to sit down with me and wax the ol’ ego at my favorite Kansas City dive-bar, The Newsroom. This visit, I met a woman named Julie who brought in fresh catfish and was nice enough to share. Julie, if you are reading this, it was absolutely perfect.

    Gordon and I sat down in the back room of the bar, a cozy, couch & chair lined seclusitorium that is normally used for live music (one of which was setting up around us during the interview). When not used for music, it turns into a fine chat area. He asks about my chapbook, Charactered Pieces: stories, my dabbling of meta-fiction elements, and the non-fiction aspects of my writing. Plus, at the end, you get a taste of a phone call from my wife.

    The things hanging on the wall behind me are typewriters. Yes, The Newsroom is decorated in old typewriters. Now do you understand why it is the best dive-bar in KC?

    For other Blank und Questions videos, check out the Blank und Questions playlist. I’ll add more videos as they materialize.

  • Selling stinky books, set to music

    As part of the Charactered Pieces: stories preorder, I promised to fill every copy with the delicious smell of ACID cigars, as part of the completely made up Lungs for Readers program. The experiment semi-failed, as most of the books instead acquired the nasty smell of burnt paper and stale smoke. Lesson learned. Though still, the books are special, containing, in addition to the ‘dive-bar’ flavor, VERY personal inscriptions, limited numbering, and random bits of trash I’ve been meaning to toss. You’re welcome, readers.

    Take in the shenanigans above, set to the sweet sounds of Cecada and helped by my friends at ArtJerk.net.

    Thanks to everyone!

    You can buy Charactered Pieces: stories at Amazon.com or direct from the publisher.

  • The Colbert Report and Charactered Pieces

    The Colbert Report and Charactered Pieces

    If any of you caught The Colbert Report last night, you definitely did not see an interview with me about my chapbook, Charactered Pieces: stories. I had been sweating the non-interview for weeks, well-aware of how Stephen Colbert treats his guests (victims?). Claiming fairness and balance, his questions instead aim to further weave his delusional and increasingly erratic conservative narrative. For this reason, I felt an appearance, though in my head entirely, would serve his ego well. I brought it, sir, if I do say so myself.

    Below is an unofficial Official Colbert Report Transcript from our interview.

    Stephen Colbert: Let me get right to it. Though I disagree with your incorrect political views, I commend you for this praise of consumerism that is Charactered Pieces. People love sex, and the first story, the title story, is all about selling sex. Plus, you’ve incorporated a strangely phallic deformity. It’s like an erotic circus.

    Caleb J Ross: It seems like Freud was right, huh?

    SC: That hippy! How can a man disagree with the gay lifestyle choice and still see so many penises?

    CJR: A lot of people like him.

    SC: You’re getting off topic.

    Staying with consumerism, I do have to wag the ol’ finger for one important reason. The price, sir. SIX DOLLARS. With that price, how can you ever expect to live the American Dream, to own a solid-veal private jet with a full-time staff to swat away the flies? You’re a Socialist, sir!

    CJR: I simply want people to read the book.

    SC: And potentially deplete the TV viewing audience! I take that as a personal affront.

    CJR: It’s a short book. People can read it during interviews with liberals like me.

    SC: Apology accepted. Now, prepare to get nailed yet again. Your story, “Refill,” is about a devoted corporate employee relying upon antidepressants to be happy. Two issues: one, being part of our free market economy should make one happy enough. And two, you missed a perfect product placement opportunity (Colbert reaches under desk, pulls out medicine bottle and places in-camera). Vaxaloft. Side effects include maggot gums, spontaneous brachial fetus implantation, and throat anus.

    Why didn’t you call Prescott Pharmaceuticals? They could have hooked you up.

    CJR: And you, I’m guessing.

    SC: I do love capitalism as much as the next authentic American, true.

    CJR: “Refill” is about the cycle of depression more than it is about any happiness gained from a prescription drug.

    SC: Don’t sell your hippy diatribe on me, Mr. Ross. (Colbert swallows two Vaxaloft pills). Something I suddenly feel so indifferent to about your book is the story, “An Optimist is the Human Personification of Spring.” Why? For the pictures. All those words need to be broken up.

    CJR: Those pictures are scanned fortune cookie fortunes. They are mostly words.

    SC: In bed (laughs). Where can liberal media worshiping book lovers pick up Charactered Pieces?

    CJR: Amazon.com, or direct from the publisher, OW Press—

    SC: That’s enough. Caleb J Ross, thank you for being here. Caleb J. Ross’s Charactered Pieces: stories. Available now.

    CJR: But I didn’t get to tell people where to buy it.

    SC: Just hyperlink your words.

  • Prematurity Awareness day (not what you think, men)

    Prematurity Awareness day (not what you think, men)

    I try to keep this site strictly about writing-related matters, but today warrants a break from that mode. Today is Prematurity Awareness day.

    When my wife first told me it was Prematurity Awareness day, I thought she was trying to drop a non-so-subtle hint. “But honey, it’s because you’re so attractive,” I was going to say. But then she saved me by elaborating.

    Here’s what the March of Dimes site has to say:

    Prematurity has been escalating steadily and alarmingly over the past two decades. One out of eight babies is born prematurely in the United States. Preterm delivery can happen to any pregnant woman.

    My wife and I had a preterm baby in January. Born 5 weeks early, our guy had some initial troubles but has since developed into an entirely normal child. As normal as a child of my seed could be, anyway.

    So, how can I spread awareness? Other than this blog post (thank you half-dozen readers!), I can send you to a blog that I had kept during my wife’s pregnancy. Of course we didn’t know during the time of this blog that our baby was going to be premature, but I do what I can.

    Read Avocados at 3a.m.

    In a weird way, I guess this post is about writing.

  • Charactered Pieces officially on sale, embarassing pictures to be had

    Charactered Pieces officially on sale, embarassing pictures to be had

    Today, Charactered Pieces officially goes on sale after an absolutely amazing pre-sale period. I can’t thank enough the many people who have traded their hard-earned cash for these bound words of mine. Due to such generosity, I have decided not to use the money to purchase a new Lay-Z-Boy for the PETA compound. They will get a used chair instead. The remaining money goes toward R&D for more painful ways to stub toes. It’s a cause that is close to my heart.

    Charactered Pieces is available to purchase in two formats:
    1) a perfect bound print version: $7.00 US
    2) a .pdf eBook version: $2 US

    Either of which can be purchased by visiting the Outsider Writers Collective purchase page.

    Now starts the real struggle: getting as many eyes as possible on those pages. I’m truly, honestly, non-fakingly proud of every word in this collection. For that reason, I want to reach as many people as possible (I assure you, I make next to no money on these books, so my motivations lie solely with readers, not sales).

    After reading the collection, should you be so kind as to post a review or even a few comments, somewhere (your person blog, a lit mag site, GoodReads.com, your MySpace or Facebook page, or Amazon.com – where the book should be available in the coming weeks) send me a link to the review (or, in the case of a print periodical, a note about your review’s publication) and I’ll respond with an embarrassing picture of myself. I am aware that that pictures of me are among the least desirable images in the history of photography, but come on. Alright. Come on.

    You could get:

    • Dressed as a Ninja (in high school)
    • White body, kinda skinny on the beach
    • Still white body, but kinda chubby on the beach
    • Dreadlocks afraid of the camera
    • In junior high, doing the splits in crazy short shorts
    • or one of many more…

    The pictures are yours to do with what you wish. I only ask that should you post them publicly, you do so with an as funny caption as possible. Or if not funny, just make fun of me.

    Finally, should you be interested, check out my few words on the cover design, over at ArtJerk.net. Here’s what ArtJerk is all about:

    Art is not art without an audience. Our goal: to wax some visual intrigue and give it (or promote its already established) audience.

    We are a small group of friends with a passion for dissecting and understand our surrounding visual accoutrement. We may pull pieces from local galleries, art shows, the internet, and perhaps a few nooks and crannies, too.