What brings you back?
Things need to change. I need to blog more. I need to have interesting things to say. Yes, that is the correct order for those last two items. Blogs, generally, are dumb. So many of them tend to be self-infatuated messes. The argument that this egotism is their exact purpose stands, true. So perhaps my contempt is like me at an orgy: so many people doing it must mean it’s fun, but every time I try one, I leave with a bad taste in my mouth. Gross.
I read plenty of industry blogs, which I see as more an evolution of the commercial print world (magazines, trades, etc.) than as an evolution of the private world (diaries, journals, bathroom stalls). So, maybe I am meant simply to avoid the diaries and try to make this blog more about the industry.
Problem: I don’t know much about “the industry.” I don’t even know what industry that would be. Publishing? Authoring? Is drinking an industry?
[pullshow]I want to be useful. I want to provide valuable content to my 2.5 readers (I call them nuclear readers; when they comment on my posts, I call them nuclear reactors…get it…anyone…). A Platform is becoming an increasingly important part of a writer’s business arsenal. Think of a platform as a retarded term for group of buyers. Essentially, publishers want writers to have a market before a book is even contracted. Strange, I know. If I already had an audience, I would print and sell the book myself. (Already, I’ve stream-of-conscious-ing this thing; next step: decorate with Lisa Frank stickers and catch my older sister reading it). [pullthis]So my question is, what is useful? What is my unique knowledge?[/pullthis] Or if not that, what is the unique perspective I can offer? Here’s a list of possibilities:- I edit the OWC site, so I know some about small presses and “outsider” authors
- I write fiction, so I know about lying
- I have a lot of concepts for niche products, so I could give away million-dollar product ideas for free
- I’m really good at eating pop-tarts. The trick is to turn them upside-down before eating, so that the icing touches your taste buds directly. Shit, there goes that blog post.
- I know a little about podcasting
- I once helped nurse a bird back to health after nearly hitting it with a lawn mower (yes, “nearly.” The bird was emotionally traumatized)
- I marketed my debut story collection, Charactered Pieces, with a zero-dollar budget, so I know how to spend a lot of time not writing constructive fiction. Related: I blog
Any of these sound good. Why do you, dear reader, come back to a blog? What would bring you back to me?
photo credit: Scott Beale / Laughing Squid
Sadly, and truthfully:
Robots (but occasionally cyborgs, and every so often but not when my mother is looking, robots and cyborgs together).
Oh, and I don’t think the goal is to get regular readers so much as it is to get regularly picked up as a click from a portal site. This would mean writing blog entries that are of particular interest to that portal. That at least narrows the scope and task. I’d think anyway, but what do I know — I don’t even have a site.
This post, in itself, will make me come back 🙂
And really, if I’m going to see your post on Facebook, I’m not usually going to bother actually going to the blog page. I’ve already got the information.
As an example of the portal, observe SFsignal,com, and in particular their daily listings. I usually scan those, find 3 or 4 I’m interested in, and my morning news is complete.
http://www.sfsignal.com/archives/2010/05/sf-tidbits-for-52210/
@Boden – Good point. My Facebook auto-pulls in this RSS feed, so I suppose when I say “blog” I mean the entire content network tied to my actual blog. I like the portal idea. I get a lot of news that way, too. Time to meta-data and blackhat (playboy.com) the hell (sfsignal.com) out of (huffingtonpost.com) my (mediabistro.com/galleycat/) posts (authorscoop.com)
@s.d – much thanks! I hope I can keep the adequate times coming.
why you gotta call me a dick?
I’m afraid I ignore people who are always talking, so I was fast to click on this new post, knowing you’ve been quiet awhile. For whatever that’s worth. And frankly, people look at pictures. My blog visits have quadrupled since I started posting photos instead of the usual blathering.
Also, people (I) love easy comedy. And I’m firm in my opinion that that’s your best feature as a talented writer. I think you should blog your routine observations, as a writer/editor/podcaster, etc., with your own strange, distinctive spin. You could think of it like a party; we’re listening and you’ve got the floor, so make us laugh.
@joe – because I always need a reason to bust out some sexually derogatory insults at people. You hear me, you fallopian boob!?
@Pela – the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ego. You are a gem. I like writing kinda funny stuff, so perhaps that’s the way to go. “The industry” with humor. It could work.
There are so many blogs about the writing biz already, though. You’re not only competing for mindshare with your own peers (many who are writers themselves), but also famous authors with more dedicated (and civilian) audiences. Besides your unique perspective and charm, what can people ONLY get at calebjross.com that keeps them coming back for their fix? I dunno if you’ve found it yet. A serial, maybe. Pornography. Cereal pornography (Frosted Flakes? Apple Jacks?). I like the inventions idea; one I follow like this is Ironic Sans (http://www.ironicsans.com). Maybe fuse your desktop publishing skillz with your handiwork and offer projects people can print and cut out and make crafty projects with. Or, ya know, just more mentions of me on your site.
@Gordon – I like those ideas (Gordon), especially the cereal pornography (Gordon), which I always thought was my thing. I’m so glad to have found a kindred (Gordon) with the same fetishes (Gordon). You, sir, deserve every mention of your name. This comment box is a perfect place for that. When people think cereal porn (Gordon), I want them to think Gordon. Cereal porn = Gordon.
Great post Caleb. I find your articles informative and entertaining. So I agree with PV on the humor angle. I love to read articles on things that can help me as a writer, so industry, technology, stuff I can do for FREE or very little money to help me promote my work. If you did any sort of analytical study of what has WORKED for you in the past (blogging, postcards, standing on a street corner naked) that would be cool. Because over time I’ve found you to be a smart, informed guy I almost always read your posts. I like the serial idea too, not sure what the focus would be, but an ongoing adventure, that always sounds cool
Good luck, bro
Peace,
Richard