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It takes a lot for me to abandon a book once I've started reading it, and that struggle becomes more and more serious the further I progress through said book. So, perhaps this is why I was able to drop Roberto Bolaño’s The Savage Detective after reading just over 1/3 of the book (though, 1/3 is often too far for me to abandon a book; I suppose this speaks to what a true waste of time I felt The Savage Detectives to be). First, to address any of the friends who suggested I read this book: my faith in your taste is not diminished in the least. I believe my grip is mostly a matter of personal disinterest in the subject matter. I mean, no matter how good a book about baseball is written, I wouldn't be excited to read it. The Savage Detectives is about teenagers without responsibility who worship poetry, yet refuse…

No book review from me this time. Judging by my recent history, it’d be a wise guess to say I do little more than read and review books. But such a guess would also be wrong. I also lounge in hotel chairs and talk about the problem of not writing as I—get this—don’t write. Are you a writer who sometimes has trouble…performing? Then this pill…uh, video… is for you. Don’t kick yourself for letting your partner down. Lack of writing happens to everyone. Really. It does. Even me. I hope my courage can be your courage. Also, did you know Jim Lehrer writes fiction? Yep. A lot of it.

At times William Gay, at times Carlton Mellick III, but always, I’d say, he dodges what would traditionally be called Bizarro fiction by way of empathy for his characters. He’s Bizarro with heart…so, magical realist, I suppose. He’d fit in more with Amy Bender and Gabriel Garcia Marquez than with Carlton Mellick III or even Bradley Sands, but is strong enough in the world of any to be welcomed by them. Wallwork isn’t afraid to take a strange, even repulsive concept, and build a touching story around it. A story of a man shitting out his own nerves? Sounds ridiculous, but Wallwork makes it work. A sexual sideshow couple famous for inserting increasingly large objects into the woman’s vagina? Yep, but it gets even weirder, yet Wallwork knows how approach these images with honesty and heart.

Chuck Palahniuk is an important writer. Love him or hate him, he’s done more to bring reading to uninterested demographics than almost any other author. But how do his books rank? I decided to take some time to (as) objectively (as possible) rank all of Chuck Palahniuk’s novels from Most Important to Least Important as a way to help hew readers find the right Palahniuk book. What makes for an important book? It’s not necessarily a good story or well-written prose. I believe it’s a mixture of both, along with contextual relevancy, or “impact. For purposes of this list, I will be weighing the social impact of the book above any other metric. Here’s the list Socially relevant Fight Club (machismo and consumerism) Survivor (cult of celebrity) Invisible Monsters (cultural importance of and priority placed on beauty) Maybe socially relevant Haunted (the reality TV obsession and “Truman Show Syndrome”) Pygmy…

A few years ago I attended a writing conference in Portland, Oregon called the Tin House Writer’s Workshop. During the event, I met a lot of great authors, one of which was Denis Johnson, author of, among many other books, Jesus’ Son. This newest installment of Getting the Singed Book features my heroic story of how I got my copy of Jesus’ Son signed by the author. It involves, among other awkward situations, the author nearly, almost, kinda drinking my pee. Read all about this almost happening at Dark Sky Magazine, here: http://www.cjrlit.com/DrinkingPee And don't forget: subscribe to my YouTube channel, subscribe to my YouTube channel, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe!

The Orphan Master’s Son is a remarkable book. I’ve been a fan of Adam Johnson’s work since his story collection Emporium (which I credit as being a primary impetus to my own fiction writing), and though both books are stellar, they are so in such different ways. It’s hard to believe that the man who wrote Emporium is the same guy who wrote The Orphan Master’s Son. Perhaps the two personalities are a Jun Do/Commander Ga thing (reference to the book). In this video review you’ll suffer through my overt praise as well as my amazing Photoshop skills. Who knew Adam Johnson could so easily become Kim Jong Il?

The stories of Fuckload of Shorts by Jedidiah Ayres, which includes the stories that inspired the short film Fuckload of Scotch Tape, are the best kind of short stories. Each one takes an idea that, realistically should make for a horrible, shock-driven story, and instead delivers amazing noir fiction with beautifully rendered characters. Ejaculating a dead man? Yep. Selling corpses to a dog foot plant? Yep. In the hands of a lesser writer, these ideas would amount to nothing more than throwaway snuff fiction. But in the hands of Jedidiah Ayres, these ideas are simply climaxes of and catalysts for truly compelling stories. This video book review examines one of those scenarios in-depth: how exactly, logistically speaking, can one ejaculate a dead man? Yes, there is a whiteboard and drawings included.

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