Tag: newsletter

House of Leaves is easily one of the most impressive novels, both in terms of story and in terms of execution, that has ever been written, and likely, will ever be written. So when doo-doo heads like this mollyflower Amazon reviewer write things like:

my immediate reaction is to dismiss this person as an impatient moron. However, when I then realize this person gave a glowing review to The Best of Mr. Bean DVD, I go from angry to compassionate. I mean, how could I hate someone with water on the brain?

(all caps courtesy of mollyflower; he/she is damn serious about the perceived hilarity of Mr. Bean)

Like House of Leaves, Blindness by Jose Saramago is simply an excellent piece of literature. It challenges, but also ensures a strong story with interesting characters, while delivering a unique writing style, something wholly unique to Saramago. However, if you only read this review

you might not be willing to give the book the dedication it deserves. But I’m honest enough to entertain the idea that perhaps Geraldine Freeman, “Avid Reader” (quotes being more telling than Geraldine likely meant) and I simply won’t agree on everything. However, then I read this 5-star review

I understand that more likely, Geraldine and I will never agree on anything. Using the powers of deduction, I can only assume she’s my exact opposite: quite racist, lover of deviled eggs, and unwilling to defend the first Limp Bizkit album in a barfight (3 Dollar Bill, Ya’ll is stellar!!!)

Another Blindness hater:

Even more amazing, this reverto person goes on to hate anther amazing work of art, Regina Spektor’s Soviet Kitsch album, not for it’s musical contributions, but, get this, because the CD case is cardboard! Maybe my ears aren’t highly tuned enough to detect the acoustic shifts due to paper-based packaging. Or, more likely, reverto hates breakfast cereal, saltines, pancake mix, and facial tissues.

If I met mollyflower, Geraldine, or reverto in a bar, we’d having nothing to talk about. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sex sells. We know this. Implied sex also sells, and perhaps even more-so considering the audience for discreet sex is much wider (puritans can’t hate what they can’t define, right?).

But sometimes I’m not sure if I’m recognizing the marketing money-shot, or if I’m just perverted. Take a look at these possible vaginas and let me know in the comments.

Do Me: Tales of Sex & Love from Tin House

No need to question the intent with this one. Bibliophiliacs rejoice.

Before they Were Giants: First Works from Science Fiction Greats

It’s generally accepted that science fiction fans, at least traditionally, are sex-starved. If Dungeons & Dragons/Star Wars stereotypes have any root in truth, most sci-fi fans aren’t motivated by sex…unless that sex comes by way of a giant octopus vagina space monster.

Granta: The Magazine of New Writing. issue #110: Sex

Another obvious one (what is it with literary magazines and lack-of-subtlety?). At least this one apparently tries to imply a message by visual tension…a purse and a puss? I’d say there’s something about money being involved in sex, somewhere in this issue.

If you happen to own a mother’s purse candle (which can be purchased here), then I’m afraid your life just got a lot more Oedipal after reading this blog post. This candle store sits not far from where I live. The candle really does smell like a mother’s purse. Needless to say, I’m never reading this issue of Granta.

The Commoner: a novel by John Burnham Schwartz

Of all the covers, this one has the potential to be the most unintentional. The view from a womb perspective here probably doesn’t actually exist, the curtains are probably not of the beef variety. In fact, the bold section below (from the Amazon.com synopsis) is the only evidence that leads me to believe that not only womanhood, but the vagina itself, plays an important role in the novel, and therefore makes this cover vaginal.

It is 1959 when Haruko, a young woman of good family, marries the Crown Prince of Japan, the heir to the Chrysanthemum Throne. She is the first non-aristocratic woman to enter the longest-running, almost hermetically sealed, and mysterious monarchy in the world. Met with cruelty and suspicion by the Empress and her minions, Haruko is controlled at every turn. The only interest the court has in her is her ability to produce an heir.

 Richard Yates by Tao Lin

Here’s how much of a nerd I am. Until very recently, I looked at this cover and thought only of Rene Magritte’s bowler hat series (see below). I’ve always known that my testosterone and sex drive were both low, so it makes sense that I would see the image of a 1960 Belgium surrealist painting rather than a vagina.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

This cover was never actually released. Instead, the 50th anniversary edition was toned down, though quite simply so. In fact, a single 90-degree turn and a hue alteration changed this cover from offensive to universally tame.

So, what do you think? Am I a pervert? Are you a pervert?