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  • Kansas City Reading Coves – Outlaw Cigar (south)

    Kansas City Reading Coves – Outlaw Cigar (south)

    I bring you #5 of a hopefully long-lived series: Kansas City Reading Coves.

    When I can, I like my coves like my vaginas: humid and labyrinthine.

    Today’s cove: Outlaw Cigar (south) – 13700 Metcalf, Overland Park, KS 66223

    I’ve avoided this place for two reasons: 1) it’s a 30 minute or so drive from my house, and 2) the cigars are crazy expensive. The only time I came in here prior to today’s visit was a few months ago. That visit allowed me to not only witness the aforementioned crazy expensive cigars first hand, but also to glimpse the cigar lounge. From my vantage near the cash register I saw only a few leather couches and a TV mounted to the wall. Nice enough, but not nice enough to pay more than twice the standard going rate for a cigar. I left, planning never to return.

    Then today, I had a few hours to kill and was in the neighborhood, so I decided to take a deeper look. I am damn glad I did. The lounge, which might more rightfully be called an adjacent building, is just about all the things I could love in a reading cove. The first of two giant rooms contains about 15 leather chairs, 3 mounted televisions, and even a bar (which was closed on this Friday morning, but I assume opens  up during special events). Preferring a quiet place to read, the TVs put me off, but I endured. I read for about an hour, then when searching for a restroom, I happened upon a super secret back lounge, this one with TVs turned off. It was perfect. I sat for another hour, just me, Matt Bell‘s How They Were Found, and the silence. The setup almost justifies the cigar prices.

    The view from my secret-cove corner
    The view from my secret-cove corner (view unobstructed)
    The view toward my secret-cove corner

    Rankings out of 10:

    Smoking accommodations 10 The lounges are bigger than the rest of the store. Enough said.
    Furniture comfort 10 Very comfy animals died for these chairs.
    Quiet level 8 As long as the TVs are off, this place is great.
    Temperature comfort 3 I don’t think this place has heard of a heater. Maybe a heater would harm the humidors, I don’t know. But still, some space heaters or something would be nice.

  • My fancy new mobile site is now live. Expect fanciness.

    My fancy new mobile site is now live. Expect fanciness.

    The fancy new mobile version of this website is now live. Take your fancy fingers and click over to the aptly earlier described fancy site by using this fancy link. (Hint: for maximum fanciness, view on a fancy mobile device, such as one pictured above).

  • Top five of oh ten

    It’s that time of year again, when it is acceptable for elitists to boast of their hipster cred. Of course, I am referring to the Top (number) Lists of the year. I’m going to squeeze into my skinny jeans, wrap a scarf around my non-coated body, and crack open a PBR while I compile my best  books of 2010 list.

    The top five

    Rationale: these are my five favorite books that were published in 2010. Of course, disclaimers apply; I couldn’t read every book published, I may not have given some books equal attention, and on and on. However, I can still cull a few favs from the admittedly too-short stack of 2010 books I read. And here they are, in no particular order.

    What I said: 

    Wolf Parts is vicious fairy tale excursions. Wolf Parts gives metaphor to the ambiguity of adolescence, turning the cautionary tale of “Little Red Riding Hood” into a predatory one. Wolf Parts turns the morality lessons of our established fairy tale and turns it inside out, sometimes literally.
    What I said: 

    Bliss Inc. beautifully teases the reader with resolution, from the opening description of arrival to the final page, and even then the reader is left with encouragement in lieu of conclusion. But it is because of this encouragement that Bliss Inc. should be on every reader’s bookshelf. Upon finishing, I knew I would forever look at cities, and my own suburban life, differently. Bliss Inc. is a truly phenomenal book, and I am comfortable with saying that it will easily make my top books of 2010 list, perhaps my top books of all time list.
    What I said: 

    I was surprised I liked it so much, to be honest. I’m admittedly a hipster when it comes to books (meaning, if one is popular, I am less willing to admit that I like it), but this guy has such a confidence of language that makes me so jealous.
    What I said: 

    At times Aimee Bender minus the domesticity, add humor, mix with welcomed introspection. I’ll be reading more @paulGtremblay
    What I said: 

    Author Nik Korpon is not satisfied to let a simple nod serve to validate his fandom, whether of movies, of music, or of literature. No, Korpon takes what is inherently compelling about each of his many references and weaves those concepts into his story.

    Honorable Mentions

    Rationale: these may not have made it to my top five, but they deserve some page space, dammit.

    High Hopes

    Rationale: these could have been on the list, but unfortunately I haven’t been able to read them yet. These are books that have been taunting me from my to read shelf. I’ve heard so much praise about these books that I feel bad for not yet giving them the time they deserve.

    How They Were Found by Matt Bell

    Working Backwards from Worst Moment of My Life by Rob Roberge

    C by Tom McCarthy

    Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach

    The Wraith by Goodloe Byron

    It Came From Del Rio by Stephen Graham Jones

  • Coming in the future: As a Machine and Parts, a novella that will blow your robot brain

    Coming in the future: As a Machine and Parts, a novella that will blow your robot brain

    In the next few years I’m going to be pushing more paper on you than the schoolyard drug dealer’s less popular friend, the Zig Zag dealer. My novella, As a Machine and Parts, will be published by Aqueous Books sometime in the future. Yes, I could qualify any of my unpublished books with such a loose time frame. But I mean it. The contract has been signed. The Zig Zags have been distributed.

    The party probably won’t happen until 2012 or later, however. That should give you plenty of time to read my other two forthcoming books, vomit a few times, and forget them long enough to make that mistake a third time.

  • The Simpsons creates a market for messenger pigeons; Oddities a market for oddities

    (part of my ongoing Unexpected Literary References series)

    Last night’s The Simpsons struck me as especially coincidental. Not only have I posted about the show twice in the past week (11/26/10 and 11/24/10), but the episode shares subject matter with my upcoming novel, Stranger Will. Of all things, messenger pigeons. Random.

    What makes it even stranger (no pun intended…unless you laughed; then, pun intended) is that literally ten minutes before the episode aired, I was doing some messenger pigeon related research online.

    Fingers crossed that The Simpsons starts a cultural demand for messenger pigeon paraphernalia.

    UPDATE: Making this an official night of stringed coincidences, I happened upon a Science channel show called Oddities, which features a museum/store full of specimens meant for the morbid (mummified cats, taxidermied two-headed cows, and so much more). This could possibly be my new favorite show.

    But the coincidental part; the shop featured in this show has the same morbid interest factor as the World of Human Oddities featured in my forthcoming novel I Didn’t Mean to Be Kevin.

    The takeaways here are:

    1. If you like The Simpsons, you will automatically love Stranger Will.
    2. If you like The Science Channel, you will automatically love I Didn’t Mean to Be Kevin.

    I think thees are fair conclusions.

  • Rémi Carreiro makes the important part of books

    Rémi Carreiro makes the important part of books

    Most of you have liars for parents. Most of you were probably given the stork spiel when asked age-inappropriate questions about the origins of things. Some of you may have been told the truth, in graphic detail, from honest, though morally disinterested, parents. I’m here to tell you the truth. Birds and bees have nothing to do with it. Rémi Carreiro is responsible. Rémi Carreiro gives birth to book covers. Also, he may have some kids; I don’t know.

    When mocking up cover designs for Stranger Will, I began by searching for some seed images. Quickly, and thankfully, I found Rémi Carreiro’s Flickr gallery. While I ultimately chose his Park Bench image for the cover (well, actually readers of this blog chose the image, via a vote), this guy has some amazing images, many of which feel so perfect for book covers. See what I mean:

    NOTE: The images captioned as “original” are the untouched amazing Carreiro photos. The book covers show my modifications. These aren’t real books and are only intended to showcase how perfect Carreiro’s photos are for covers. Are you listening publishers?

    Bright White (original)
    Bright White (modified cover)
    Spruce Court Sunset (original)
    Spruce Court Sunset (modified cover)

    And this one just screams to be a wrap-around cover:

    Opposing Views (original)
    Opposing Views (modified cover)

    Many, many thanks to Mr. Carreiro for offering his Park Bench image. If you want a print of your own, you should buy Stranger Will. The image will come with its very own 250 page wall-mount.

  • Weekdays with The Simpsons Literary References

    Weekdays with The Simpsons Literary References

    (part of my ongoing Unexpected Literary References series)

    I caught a rerun of The Simpsons a few days ago, one in which the author of Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom, makes a cameo. I wish for less popular books and authors to get The Simpsons treatment, but I say that only because I am a less popular author with a less popular book. Hint, hint, The Simpsons. Trust me, Matt Groening, you’ll need my mediocre grasp of pop culture and my general irrelevance to stay alive for another 20 years. Also, you’ll need miracle medicine. What are you, like 70 years old?

    Season 21 Episode 9 "Thursdays With Abie"

    In this same episode, Grandpa Abe tells a story about how he introduced the book Gone With The Wind to an ungrateful Clark Gable. Unfortunately, I could not come across a good screenshot of the book itself, so this image will have to suffice.