Video Games are Real

Tag: murmurs

  • I lost $ 75.48 on a Facebook ad campaign, and you can too! -OR- Can Facebook ads sell books? Quick answer: no. Long answer: noooooooooooooooo.

    I lost $ 75.48 on a Facebook ad campaign, and you can too! -OR- Can Facebook ads sell books? Quick answer: no. Long answer: noooooooooooooooo.

    (part of my ongoing Search Engine Optimization for Authors series[1]I understand that paid search ads aren’t traditionally umbrellaed under search engine optimization. However, because tracking and optimization is involved, I’m including it in the series)

    Part of being a great author-marketer is knowing how to filter promotion time wastes from time worthwhiles. Some options are simple to filter. “Should I do a Goodreads.com giveaway to attract potential readers?” Yes (all it costs is the price of a few copies of a book to receive interest from hundreds of readers). “Should I rent a billboard for a month?” No (billboards offer either 1) travel-oriented products/services or 2) products with a high profit margin). Some options aren’t so simple. And in the case of the Facebook ad, prominence adds to the should I or shouldn’t I debate. Well, I’m here to help. (more…)

    Footnotes

    Footnotes
    ↑1 I understand that paid search ads aren’t traditionally umbrellaed under search engine optimization. However, because tracking and optimization is involved, I’m including it in the series

  • A selection of my strangest gifts ever given

    I write domestic grotesque fiction, which is a term I think I made up, but is quite suiting to the themes and content of my stories and books. The most famous short story that I think would fit into the domestic grotesque genre is “Good Country People” by Flannery O’Conner (visualized quite creepily in this short film from the 1960s and quite cheesily in this student clip). Take a family situation—usually some sort of broken family dynamic—mix in something grotesque—possibly morbid but not necessarily—and you’ve probably got domestic grotesque.

    As you can imagine, Christmas is a fun time for my family.

    I’ve given quite a few quirky gifts. Though none could be tagged as grotesque, they are representative of the type of mind that would write a domestic grotesque story, I think. Tis the season and all that, so I figured I would share a few that I’ve so graciously given over the years.

    Kangaroo Scrotum change purse

    Lucky Recipient: uncle

    Yep, it’s a real kangaroo scrotum. I bought one for myself years ago and still use it to this day. Quite durable, those marsupial nut sacks.

    Remote Triggered Farting Bear

    Lucky recipient: sister

    Elegantly simple. Place bear near unsuspecting grandmother. Press remote button. Watch rest of family pretend to ignore what they assume is just a more audible version of what grandma does all the time.

    Huggable Swearing Bear

    Lucky recipient: sister

    Elegantly simple. Place bear near unsuspecting grandmother. Tell grandmother to hug bear. Watch rest of family pretend not to be embarrassed as we hear an audible version of what grandma is thinking all the time.

    Zebra/Tiger Table

    Lucky recipient: mother.

    My mother refused to tell me what she wanted for Christmas, so I taught her a lesson by giving her a bunch of stupid crap. This table is probably the stupidest. Lesson learned, mom. I actually gave a zebra table (sans the tiger), but I couldn’t find a picture of it anywhere online. Though I think I like this one better. 2011 gift idea!
     

    Bath towel with my giant face on it

    Lucky recipient: mother

    I specifically made sure to call this gift a bath towel, rather than a beach towel or dish towel, so as to enhance the creepy factor. That face is actual size…if my face suffered from Elephantiasis. that face is actually about the size of a couch cushion. Bonus funny: I’m my mother’s only son.
     

    Way-too-old child footprints

    Luck recipient: mother

    You remember those cute infant-to-toddler foot print pictures that children often make for their parents. This is kinda like that except instead of ohhh-ing and awwww-ing there was much ewwww-ing and therapist calling. I actually think this was a Mother’s Day gift. Either way, ha!

    Might I recommend you do the same? Creep out your family by gifting one of the items above. Or, better yet, mix in some bookage and give a copy of one of my books. Click below to go to heaven.

  • Preorders are now being accepted for As a Machine and Parts. Preorders will be SIGNED.

    I am so incredibly thrilled to announce that my newest book, As a Machine and Parts, is now available for preorder. Simply click over to the Aqueous Books website to order. ALL PREORDERS WILL BE SIGNED. Unfortunately, they will be signed by me. I tried to reanimate Christopher Reeves or get Stephen Hawking here to do the signing–as that would not only be incredible, but would play nicely into the man/machine hybrid themes of the book–but for some reason I couldn’t get their people to connect with my people. Maybe their people are dead and/or paralyzed, too.

    There are a few amazing deals going on that make preordering even more worth your time and money.

    1. If you preorder As a Machine and Parts (or buy any of my books, actually) you will get a copy of my newest short story collection, Murmurs: Gathered Stories Vol. One for FREE! Click here for details.
    2. Word on the street is that Aqueous Books will be running a Black Friday sale (not what you think, fans of slavery) where any 2 Aqueous Books titles can be had for a measly $20. Check out the Aqueous Books store page for details. My recommendation would be pair As a Machine and Parts with Aaron Polson’s The Saints are Dead. It’s a damn fine read.
    3. You can actually combine the two offers above and still get Murmurs for free.

    If you don’t order the book, you are basically calling these people liars:

    There was once a Marvel comic book called “What if…” and in it Uatu the Watcher, a bald sage-like character with an enormous head spun speculative tales of alternative versions of the Marvel Universe you thought you knew. With As a Machine & Parts Caleb J. Ross continues to stake his claim as his generation’s Watcher, which should not be construed as a commentary on his beautiful, yet clearly fake head of hair, but instead as an observation about the scope of his imagination and his ongoing vision of what the world can be, might be and just maybe will be if Ross has anything to say about it.

    —Ben Tanzer, author of Most Likely You Go Your Way and I’ll Go Mine

    As a Machine and Parts is equal parts hilarious, absurd and touching. It’s the kind of book that after reading makes you say, ‘Damn, why didn’t I think of that first?’ only to realize you couldn’t have done it so well. Wildly inventive without collapsing under the weight of its own genius, As a Machine and Parts proves that Caleb J. Ross is one of the most exciting young authors writing today.

    —Nik Korpon, author of Stay God and Old Ghosts

  • Solarcide interviews me, one of the most interesting interviews yet: The Digital Age of Domestic Grotesque

    Nathan Pettigrew, one of the two minds behind the lit site Solarcide, asked me for an interview a few days ago. This guy knows how to ask questions, ones that not only evoke my own passion for the subject matter but also make it easy for me to answer in a way that is hopefully entertaining for readers.

    Head over to Solarcide now. Read the interview. Learn of my greatness.

    Here’s a taste of Nathan’s humbling intro:

    He’s one of literature’s most lethal rising stars and highly prolific with not one, but four new releases in 2011.

    His debut novel from earlier this year, Stranger Will (Otherworld Publications), established Caleb J. Ross as a true talent to be reckoned with. His writing can be described as stylistically beautiful while depicting some of the darkest and most disturbing worlds that fiction has to offer.

    Picking up on concurrent themes throughout his work pertaining to family, some have begun to refer to his style as Domestic Grotesque—a genre all his own.