Five (5) days left for free shipping, disturbing inscriptions, and stinky pages

Only five days left to preorder Charactered Pieces: stories and receive all of the following cash and prizes:

• Free shipping
• A (very) personal inscription. Note the specific name you would like the inscription made out to in the PayPal comments area. Also, note my use of the word “very;” I warn you: you may be disturbed by what I write. If you would rather a flat-signed, or “clean” copy, note that in the PayPal comments area as well.
• A picture of me signing the book (so there are no Antiques Roadshow conflicts 90 years from now)
• As part of the made up LUNGS FOR READERS program, each preorder will smell of delicious ACID cigars. Trust me, even if you don’t like cigars, you’d love the smell of ACIDs. Imagine if cinnamon and Italian food had a veal baby. My friends over at ArtJerk.net are going to help me stink up the books
• Whatever other fun stuff I can find to stuff between the book’s pages

Order here, from the publisher, OW Press (though, the PayPal payment will come to me)

So far, preorders have greatly exceeded my expectations. I anticipated a few unfortunate souls would feel obligated to order due to familial or neighborly relation. But, damn, I must have relayed pity to an entire town at some point in my past. I’ve got so many wonderful people not only wanting to read my stuff, but willing to pay for the opportunity. I am going to make it my mission to be sure each reader is satisfied. It starts with the bulleted gifts above. I’ve even got a head start on the inscriptions (to be transcribed once I get a hold of the books):

It ends with house-calls and roses (or does it end there…? If my wife is reading this, then yes, it does end there).