EXCLUSIVE: Mix-a-Lot flip flops stance on badonkadonk

I present part two of my however-many-it-takes part series to get a book deal based on my amazing, 100(ish)% true exploits as a hobbyist blame-taker.

However, instead of being only an instigator in big news, I want to report it. Below is my first official Blame Caleb Exclusive!

(BCE)–Gluteal aficionado reverses his long-held controversial stance on large asses. Says Mr. A-Lot: “They just aren’t exotic anymore.”

Sir Mix-A-Lot became famous after the 1992 release of his pro-butt cheek manifesto, “Baby Got Back,” currently in its 34^th pressing. The release of this manifesto took both the intellectual and libidinal communities by storm.

“The problem is that too many white boys did in fact shout,” Mix-a-Lot says in reference to a particularly layered passage in which he implies the reluctance of Caucasian males to express sexual interest. “Once the mainstream embraced my philosophy, Rump-o’-smooth-skin’s no longer suffered insecurities about their shape. So I became just another talentless fat guy with nothing to offer.”

Within weeks of the release of “Baby Got Back,” fatties throughout the country rejoiced. As expected, enormous women are split on how to feel about Mix-a-Lot’s recent announcement. One particularly gross woman felt betrayed. “He said he loved us. Now he says we are nothing, it’s like…” (recording inaudible due to mouth full of donuts). Other women, such as The Wild Hole Stripclub’s notoriously self-confident Ms. Chocolate Mousse is indifferent. “Everybody loves us. We don’t need him.”

When asked about the timeliness of the announcement, Mr. A-Lot says, “I was inspired to come clean after Stephen Hawking recently modified his original acceptance that God had a role in creating the universe.” Hawking argues his theory in his new book, The Grand Design, as reported at The Guardian. “So as God is to Hawking,” Mix-A-Lot says, “the ass is to me.”