The credits are rolling on Lifeless Planet, a game with a title that marketing people probably hate, but you know, it’s accurate. It’s a game about a lifeless planet. And it’s a game as lifeless but unexpectedly captivating as that title suggests. So, shut up marketing people! (more…)
Category: Video Game Review
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Why does the final level have to be so frustrating?! A Jak and Daxter Quick-Thought Review
I love Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy. It’s a fantastic 3D action platformer, originally released in 2001 for the Sony Playstation 2. This video game holds up really, really well. Buuuut…why does it have to get so frustrating in the final level. The amazing platforming suddenly gets irresponsibly confusing at the final level.
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A Plague Tale: Innocence Gets Better and Better | Video Game Review
The big selling point with this game–the thing you’ve probably heard about if you’ve heard anything–is that thousands of rats are animated simultaneously without any frame rate compromises. Sure, that’s impressive from a technical perspective, but it’s concerning from a future of the human race perspective. You people realize that 50 years ago we flew to the damn moon, right?! (more…)
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How is Bendy and the Ink Machine so Bad?
The credits are rolling on Bendy and the Ink Machine, and I’m here to answer the question you all surely have. Is Bendy a good name?
Yes, it’s a great name. The implied movement afforded by the trailing y creates an adjective noun that reflects perfectly the rubber hose animation style from which the character Bendy pulls inspiration.
Oh, what, you said game? Is it a good game? Well, sure. The cartridge is the perfect size for the Nintendo Switch game slot, so how much better can the game be, right?
Oh, is Bendy and the Ink Machine a fun gaming experience…Hmmm, there’s no way I can intentionally mis-hear that one, is there? The short answer: no. Bendy and the Ink Machine is a broken mess of a game that somehow manages to be bad at every point in which most games would at least try to be good. Except one area, Bendy does do good in one area. I’ll mention that at the end of this video, but otherwise the game sucks. (more…)
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Child of Light. A 2D, Side-Scrolling, Turn-Based RPG? Yes, Please!
The credits are rolling on Child of Light, a unique mix of 2D side-scroller and turn-based RPG. You don’t see those too mix very often. I don’t know why. Maybe video games are racist.
But more likely, you don’t see side-scrolling, turn based RPGs because the side-scrolling nature restricts the player’s directional choices. What fun is an RPG if you are forced to battle every single enemy? No fun, that’s what fun. Child of Light handles this by giving the player character, a princess named Aurora, the ability to fly. So, essentially, Child of Light is a top-down game in that you can move in any direction and choose which enemies to engage. That’s either very clever or its cheating. (more…)
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Trover Saves the Universe Review. Is it Funny?
The credits have rolled on Trover Saves the Universe. Well, actually they haven’t. Not yet. But they will. I’m still playing it. And I do intend to finish it. I just feel confident that the endgame won’t surprise or delight me enough to make this early review an invalid review. Incomplete, perhaps. But not unfair.
See, Trover saves the Universe is primarily a showcase for Justin Roiland’s brand of noncommittal riffing. Imagine you were to accuse a drunk neighbor of pooping on your carpet, and that drunk neighbor insists he did no such thing, delivering his appeal with all the incoherence and verbal hurdling over swallowed-down almost-vomit that a drunk neighbor would of course exhibit, and proudly so. That’s essentially every one of Roiland’s characters.
Basically, you get the sense that Roiland’s voice recording sessions are just him, probably high, vocalizing every single thing that comes to his mind. Sure, he’ll pause to gather his thoughts or jump into an alternate take, but where less confident writers may insist the pauses and jumps be edited out, Roiland seems to insist the opposite. It comes across as brash laziness.
And I freaking love it. (more…)
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The Talos Principle Review. Puzzles vs. Religion?
The credits have rolled on The Talos Principle.
The Talos Principle is a first person puzzle game in the vein of Portal, Q.U.B.E, and probably Myst and Riven, but I’m not sure because I didn’t have a PC when Myst and Riven were popular. Still I feel I had to mention them here to avoid angry comments about my lack of knowledge of the first person puzzle genre.
The puzzles are the best kind of puzzles. Just a few mechanics to keep track of and each series of puzzles builds upon the rules of previous puzzles. It’s near puzzle perfection. Each solved puzzle rewards you with a tetromino-shaped sigil. Collect enough sigils and you advance in the game. But depending on which direction you choose advance, you’ll either suffer the wrath of or enjoy the praise of Elohim, the godlike narrative voice. Advance as Elohim commands, and you’ll be praised. Advance up the forbidden tower, and you’ll be chastised.
This choice in either defiance of or honor of a religious deity is where the game tries to be more than a game. But I’m not sure it succeeds. (more…)