Video Games are Real

Category: General News

  • I know the street value of authors

    I know the street value of authors

    Quick, before they are outlawed. Inhale, inject, and/or read these recently-legalized vices el pronto:

    • A Mel Bosworth is worth a follow-up story chapbook called Grease Stains, Kismet, and Maternal Wisdom. Street date of NOW! Mine is on my way. Based on Mel’s previous work, I can expect some glorious toilet time in the near future.
    • 1 Ben Tanzer will run you 99 Problems (that was an easy conversion). This book is a collection of essays about running. I’m no runner. Write a book called 99 Pastries, and I’m all over it (though I am all over 99 Problems, too; I finally bought a copy today). Want a taste? Meet a guy named Jason Behrends over at the Orange Alert Podcast, episode 27. Tell him “Compulsions” sent you.
    • Word is Craig Wallwork will net a cool collection of recent blog posts. You ever tried Pela Via? What about Plagiarism? Ease into the experience with Mission Apostle.
    • Vincent Louis Carrella has 1 Serpent Box that he’s willing to offload for a few comments over at the Goodreads.com Velvet group book discussion.
    • 1 Nik Korpon is worth 3 CD cases full of drugs, 2 heart-sick slackers, and 1 preorder date of October 1st, for his debut novel Stay God. I am currently devouring an advance copy of the book for the second time. I could go bankrupt reading this book.

    Good luck with the inevitable intervention

  • Fry eReads; should I too?

    (part of my ongoing Unexpected Literary References series)

    Fry'sEreader

    The episode of Futurama titled Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences featured a suspiciously eReader-esque device (pictured in the above screenshot, though the episode contained better images of the device), which got me thinking, yet again, about my inevitable adoption of an eReader.

    I’ve held off so far for two main reasons:

    1. I simply like having books. Yes, possibly just to show off for my two friends who would be impressed by a bookshelf, but also because I feel that the nurtured associations of a book–the smell, the feel of the pages, the statement of class–are part of the reading experience and actually add to the overall gratification of a finished book.
    2. No single eReader delivers what I want.

    And what do I want?

    • Low price point. Overall, eReaders have recently dropped in price, which is encouraging. But still I feel that $149 is too much.
    • E-ink screen. Fuck the LCD. This  means no Literati reader. Sad, too, because I was really looking forward to that one.
    • Ownership of files. Some people don’t realize that when you purchase a book for your Kindle, you don’t actually own the file. Amazon does. I want a copy on my local computer.
    • Choice of storefront. Again, a fault of the Kindle. This device can only read .pdfs and Amazon files. I’m uncomfortable with being forced to suckle a single teet.
    • Ability to read a variety of file formats. The Sony eReader and the Cool-er Reader can read many different formats including .pdf and the (slowly becoming) industry standard ePub format. But store options for purchasing the books are still limited.

    I am getting closer. But come on industry! Give me what I want.

  • It’s about TIME I got a fake TIME cover

    It’s about TIME I got a fake TIME cover

    It has been 10 years since a living novelist has appeared on the cover of Time (since Stephen King in 2000). So why does Jonathan Franzen get to right this wrong? Why not me? “Because you’ve never had a novel published,” you say. True. Though smell on the street is that travesty will soon to be rectified….more to come on that lovely bit of teasery a bit later.

    Until then, come on, you be the judge. I make a damn good counterpoint.

  • Transubstantiate, the first novel from Richard Thomas, is now available

    Transubstantiate, the first novel from Richard Thomas, is now available

    July will forever forward be known not as the month in which America celebrates its independence, but instead as the month that witnessed the release of Richard Thomas’s debut novel, Transubstantiate.

    This novel has been a long time coming, and I urge everyone to grab a copy as soon as possible. And as you do that, get involved with some of the discussion and live readings surrounding the novel, including a July 19 live Q&A at Bitten By Books (Time TBD), a July 18th reading at Archie’s Iowa Rockwell Tavern in Chicago, IL from 8:00 – 11:30, an October 16th reading the infamous Quimby’s also in Chicago, IL, and an ongoing book discussion at The Velvet’s goodreads group.

    Not yet convinced? Read a few excerpts at Plots With Guns. Or perhaps this review at Bitten By Books.

    Don’t know enough about the author? Get to know him at his The Cult interview.

    My praise not good enough? Maybe kind words by authors Stephen Graham Jones, Craig Clevenger, Joey Goebel, and Karen Brown are worth more to you.

    Order it, already, from Otherworld Publications (the publisher) is best.

    Here’s my last push, just look at this handsome fucker:

  • The Fringe Detriments of Writing Fiction

    The Fringe Detriments of Writing Fiction

    In response to Mr. Highland’s challenge to come up with a counter point to my list of the fringe benefits of writing, I offer to you, the fringe detriments of writing:

    • Not enough people worship me. Jesus had a whole pool of suckers to write for him. Am I comparing myself to Jesus? Yes. Which brings me to…
    • An inflated ego brings nothing but misery. But on someone as awesome as me, misery looks damn good.
    • Something can easily take years to write, but can be read and forgotten in hours (wow, that was a bit of an honest one. I wasn’t expecting that)
    • If you are so brash as to call your writing an art-form, very few people will be interested. People who don’t care for art will change the subject. People who don’t write but enjoy art will simply not believe you. And people who do write and do enjoy art will immediately resent you for stealing their form. Those few that do take interest will likely wane once you start describing character motivations and narrative arc. The trick, I think, is to write about boobs.
    • If the page is a reflection of your soul, as hippy writers like to say, then a writer must be fully aware and be willing to accept that your life and soul both suck. Get a job, hippy!
    • Paper cuts are a job hazard. Pen stabbings are too. Computer maulings happen. I once choked on the “T” key.  These are all self-inflicted. For fuck’s sake, I sit in front of a computer for hours each day; I go mad!
    • One man’s masterpiece is another man’s throw-in to offload a used lawn mower at his yard sale.
    • When caught burrowing in a dumpster, the excuse “it’s research for a project” only works once. Subsequent times require the truth: “I’m a writer, so I am homeless.”
  • Results of 5,000 words for Father’s Day

    Results of 5,000 words for Father’s Day

    As far as meeting this goal, I failed. I did not reach 5,000 print-quality words in one day. However, I did learn something very important. I am simply not meant to write all day. I am glad that I can no longer blame my non-productivity on time constraints. In fact, I actually work better given 2-3 hour windows. As you can see by the time-line below, the day started off quite well.

    10:08a (1 word) first word (The), first cup of coffee (Soy Chai Latte with an extra shot – It’s like beer: start the night with something exotic so that when you are drunk later you don’t care what brand you are drinking).
    11:08a (570 words) went to the bathroom, took in a chapter of Saramago’s The Stone Raft, and gave the dog a treat. She’s been really good about not killing me, considering I am not a daily occupier of this house.
    11:22a The headphones already hurt. Time to try listening to Bohren und der Club of Gore through speakers. Less ear pain, but too much outside noise mucking up what is supposed to be a way of isolation by sound.
    12:05p (958 words) 2nd cup of coffee, this time black. 1,000 words in 2 hours. Things are not looking good. At this rate, 5,000 words will take me 10 hours, which I simply don’t have. Boooooo to goals.
    1:16p (1,496 words) I said I wouldn’t, but I’ve got to get out of the house. I may slowly be realizing that I am just not meant to “go under” when I write. Could I be a normal 2-3 hour max/session writer?
    2:44p (1,496 words) Notice the word count has not moved in 1 ½ hours. I drove to get a sandwich, then decided to drive home to finish the day. My wife has taken our kid to a friend’s farm for naturey stuff. So, I should have a couple more hours to at least round the count to 2,000 words.
    6:04p (1,731 words) I’ll call these last 3 ½ hours a break, even though the duration really constitutes forfeiture. During this time I ate a couple donuts, drank some coffee, bought two Jose Saramago books (and learned that he has two posthumous English language translations forthcoming this year, Little Memories, an autobiography which I assume will be prepared for publication even considering his recent death, and Elephant’s Journey), and also a few Moleskine notebooks (which I learned is pronounced mol-a-skeen’-a, and not mol-skin as I had been doing for years). But I did come back to writing, and I did manage to pound out a few more words.
    7:19p (2,041 words) I’m getting a shower.

    What to make of this? As much as I would like live the romanticized writer’s life, I simply do not have the constitution to do so. My apologies to anyone who gambled incorrectly on this outcome. My advice is that next time you wager money on someone’s likelihood to meet a goal, don’t use me if your choose the affirmative side.

  • 5,000 words for Father’s Day

    5,000 words for Father’s Day

    When my lovely wife asked what I wanted for Father’s Day, I replied quite simply: a day to myself. Fearing that the request may imply that my primary desire was to spend the day away from my family, I quickly explained that I wanted the day to write. I’ve been spoiled by the frantic life of parenthood, being able to blame my lack of productivity on the burdens of being a father. “Why haven’t you finished the first draft of your world-changing novel?” my non-existent editor asks. “Well you see, sir, I have this child…” But I know the days of those lies must end. I only hurt myself when I don’t get shit done.

    My beautiful wife has allowed me the entire day. I’ll be spending the time at her parent’s house where I can be assured just enough discomfort to keep me isolated to the page (they are out of town; I’m not saying that they make me uncomfortable, just that being in their house alone will be a bit weird and that I won’t be tempted to explore the area for ways to derail any progress).

    My goal is to cough up 5,000 words. But not just any words, truly good words. Even 5,000 draft-quality words would be a feat, so planning on just as many print-quality words means I’ll have to cut away many of my bad habits. I check my email too often. I refill my coffee cup too much. Basically, I’ll use any excuse to step away from the page. Not today. How? I’ll be taking on a few tips from my friend Axel Taiari:

    Kill your internet connection, only bring Tom Waits albums, rock some caffeine/nicotine, have food/sandwiches/snacks prepared in advance, forget about showering, and for the love of god, if anyone disturbs you and breaks your flow, it should be legal to stab them right between the eyes.

    Here’s the survival gear:

    • An old-fashioned notebook – This will hopefully keep me from my computer and by that, the internet.
    • My computer – yeah, sorta self-defeating considering the above item, but I’ll use it primarily for morale-boosting updates via twitter and similar ego-maniacal social mediums. Maybe I’ll wear the winner shirt I made (above) with my face on it to really tell the virtual world how awesome I am.
    • Headphones – I’ll likely replace Axel’s Tom Waits suggestion with Bohren und der Club of Gore, only because vocals can be distracting. Even a casual search on this site will show how much I love Tom Waits, so normally, he’d be my life’s soundtrack.
    • Prepared food – I don’t want even the need for nutrition to be an excuse to lift my fat ass off the chair.
    • Cigars – I think it will be too hot tomorrow to enjoy any smoke, but just in case, I’d like to have a couple think-sessions away from the paper, fueled by some delicious ACID cigarillos.
    • Coffee
    • A knife – for stabbing right between the eyes.

    Wish me luck. But don’t bother me A-holes!