*neither James Patterson nor Stephenie Meyer wrote this book**
**Thank fucking God***
***though I wouldn’t mind their sales. Get to it, asterisks readers.
Category: Charactered Pieces: stories
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Have you heard about the new fake James Patterson book?*
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What brings you back?
Things need to change. I need to blog more. I need to have interesting things to say. Yes, that is the correct order for those last two items. Blogs, generally, are dumb. So many of them tend to be self-infatuated messes. The argument that this egotism is their exact purpose stands, true. So perhaps my contempt is like me at an orgy: so many people doing it must mean it’s fun, but every time I try one, I leave with a bad taste in my mouth. Gross.
I read plenty of industry blogs, which I see as more an evolution of the commercial print world (magazines, trades, etc.) than as an evolution of the private world (diaries, journals, bathroom stalls). So, maybe I am meant simply to avoid the diaries and try to make this blog more about the industry.
Problem: I don’t know much about “the industry.” I don’t even know what industry that would be. Publishing? Authoring? Is drinking an industry?
[pullshow]I want to be useful. I want to provide valuable content to my 2.5 readers (I call them nuclear readers; when they comment on my posts, I call them nuclear reactors…get it…anyone…). A Platform is becoming an increasingly important part of a writer’s business arsenal. Think of a platform as a retarded term for group of buyers. Essentially, publishers want writers to have a market before a book is even contracted. Strange, I know. If I already had an audience, I would print and sell the book myself. (Already, I’ve stream-of-conscious-ing this thing; next step: decorate with Lisa Frank stickers and catch my older sister reading it). [pullthis]So my question is, what is useful? What is my unique knowledge?[/pullthis] Or if not that, what is the unique perspective I can offer? Here’s a list of possibilities:- I edit the OWC site, so I know some about small presses and “outsider” authors
- I write fiction, so I know about lying
- I have a lot of concepts for niche products, so I could give away million-dollar product ideas for free
- I’m really good at eating pop-tarts. The trick is to turn them upside-down before eating, so that the icing touches your taste buds directly. Shit, there goes that blog post.
- I know a little about podcasting
- I once helped nurse a bird back to health after nearly hitting it with a lawn mower (yes, “nearly.” The bird was emotionally traumatized)
- I marketed my debut story collection, Charactered Pieces, with a zero-dollar budget, so I know how to spend a lot of time not writing constructive fiction. Related: I blog
Any of these sound good. Why do you, dear reader, come back to a blog? What would bring you back to me? (more…)
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Caleb’s SNIPPETS OF TOMORROW (04/25/10)
@ UnRonic, Stephen Krauska offers some truly amazing words about Charactered Pieces. There’s so much more than I deserve in the full review, so I urge you to click over the UnRonic to read everything. But here’s a snippet:
Between his spectacular characters, interesting stories, excellent metaphors all held together with great imagery and vivid description, Ross is a must read. He’s young, fresh and down to earth enough to admittedly “steal” lyrics and write an “Acknowledgment” section that sounds more like a bonus story than a Hollywood awards speech. Keep an eye on him, he is bound to turn up more great work in the future.
@Outsider Writers Collective – on the above note, there are only 23 copies of Charactered Pieces left of the entire 150 copy print run. I don’t think there are any plans to go into another print run anytime in the near future. Of course, .pdf and Kindle copies will be available for the foreseeable future. However, if you want a print copy, now would be the time to claim one. Click here to visit the purchase page at Outsider Writers Collective.
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Caleb’s SNIPPETS OF TOMORROW (03/04/10)
@ Blinding Loud, Sean P. Ferguson gives some great words about Charactered Pieces:
The stories don’t change you because they cause you to rethink how you’re living in some great respect. You’re not forced on with issues that want you to decide whether or not to have an abortion, or pick a side when it comes to same sex marriage. They don’t beat down your door demanding that you give all of your belongings to charity. You’re presented with life and the ability to deal with what you’re dealt. Now put down what you’re doing, read, and start to live. Really live. Because if these people can, so can you, we all have Charactered Pieces in us.
@ kenwohlrob.com, site namesake and author, Ken Wohlrob, says some very flattering things about Charactered Pieces:
The prose is punchy and has a great rhythm to it, especially when the stories are told in first person. Ross nails his character’s voices, so you can feel yourself sitting in a bar and hearing the grim tales first hand. “Charactered Pieces,” “The Camp,” and “An Optimist is the Human Personification of Spring” — the best of the stories where you can’t help being drawn into the lives of the narrators — are worth the cover price alone.
@ Trick with a Knife, I’m contributing sporadic rants, opinions, essays, whatever strikes me (in accordance to their mission, of course:)
Trick with a Knife is the internet destination for commentary, opinion, and tidbits related to the artistic and literary scenes. Our contributors are writers and artists who are passionate about words and images and sounds.
@ RedRoom, Vicki Nikolaidis writes some great words about Charactered Pieces. She even comments on the cover art. Me, as just an armchair artist at best, takes this compliment especially well:
His phenomenal artwork graces the cover, but don’t look too hard, the drawing will make sense later…before you understand what is happening it is your world and you will be sharing a space in your brain with Charactered Pieces several weeks after you thought you had finished the stories.
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Not a loud lesbian nor a story of masturbation; how will I succeed?
As I mentioned in a previous post, I’ll be one of a great group of writers to read at Leela European Café on April 9th in Denver. I’ve done a few readings in the past, despite the live aspect being something writers don’t often get to experience. I’ve been lucky, I guess.I am perhaps more excited to see and meet these people more than I am to actually read some of my own work. That’s natural. I’m humble by nature. Humble and handsome.
The unwritten rule is that writers should read from something either freshly published or contracted for publication. For me, that would be my story collection, Charactered Pieces. But another, perhaps not entirely unwritten rule, is that when crowds and drinks are involved, the
best type of material to read is work both funny and short. Charactered Pieces, though it contains elements of each, doesn’t contain any stories that would fit both of those qualifications equally enough to warrant the rapt attention of the audience (which I expect to be huge! You hear me! Be there or be dead!). The bar is high, as I’ve been to both Chuck Palahniuk readings (refreshingly interactive meets his morbid material makes for strange group of lit lovers, videos here, and don’t forget all the people who fainted during his Guts tour) and Dorothy Allison readings (the last, her 2009 AWP appearance which was followed by the only performance worthy of her opening, a performance from Mucca Pazza (this review calls them a ragtag band…they simply don’t know the wonder that is Mucca Pazza).
So, I’ve decided to write two entirely new pieces for the event. One involves my plea for corporate sponsorship. The other involves my plea for free beer. It’s a bit scary to debut something in front of a crowd of strangers, but I guess that’s better than waiting until a piece is printed before finding out it sucks.
What sort of material do you (or would you, if you’ve never been to a live reading) want to hear?
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I’m still doing stuff, see…
I read somewhere (or maybe I didn’t; reading is for suckers) that the author/promoter divide is a 70/30 ratio. I’d go further, and flip those numbers, giving the promoter hat a 70% weight. If I’ve learned anything with pushing Charactered Pieces these last few months it’s this: writing is a dirty, dirty game.The dream of churning out books, leaving the advertising and promotion to the publisher, is more a point of Norman Rockwell Nostalgia than a truth. Or at least my experience of it is. Of course, I accept that this may be my own inadequacies speaking, as some authors do get to live the dream. But most do not. Definitely fewer than in years past. Or is that statement also romanticized nostalgia?
Over the past few months, since Charactered Pieces’s November 16th, 2009 release, I’ve been guilt-ridden for my relative unproductively. When compared historically, this last quarter or so has been remarkably and dishearteningly word-free. But a sudden realization, perhaps evoked by a recent email conversation with author, Pablo D’Stair, made me realize just how much I have actually done these past months. So, as a way to comfort myself, here’s a list of my recent writing-related accomplishments.
- Promotion. I’ve considered it a hindrance to writing all this time, but really I must think of it as network-building, as meeting more people who could very well become important components to my writing. Pablo D’Stair, for instance, we would not have met had it not been for my incessant (re: annoying) promotion.
- Tim Hall’s One Damn Thing After Another. I helped bring this fantastic collection to light. Who the hell am I to think of that as time wasted?
- Revised chapters of my novel-in-progress. I’m working through revisions on one of my unfinished novels, with the help of some very talented writer friends. Since January, I’ve edited five chapters. Some of the changes have been substantial and could be considered full rewrites. Meaning: I get to credit that as writing time.
- Outsider Writers Collective. I’ve unexpectedly taken on a stronger role over at www.OutsiderWriters.org, which included updating the website in January. Hopefully, the redesign makes for a better experience. The traffic numbers seem to show that more people are visiting. That, or SPAMbots.
- AWP Blog. In preparation for my April trip to Denver for the AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Projects) Conference, I set up a blog (https://calebjross.com/awpblog/) which consists of writer contributors who will document the conference via Twitter, TwitPic, YouTube, and traditional blog posts. Gathering contributors, setting up panelist interviews, and spreading the word have taken quite a bit of time. Not to mention the…
- AWP off-site reading. I organized a reading at Leela’s European Café in Denver for April 9th, which will feature OW Press authors/contributors and members of The Velvet writing community. You’ll get tired of me talking about this, for sure; I am damn excited. And on this topic, another ellipsis…
- New stories for AWP reading. The standard reading usually features an author reading from his/her most recent release. This is fine. Most of the time. But I anticipate drinks and noise being involved, so something short and funny would probably work better (my Holocaust story, “The Camp,” may be funny to some, but it’s probably not a safe bet to count on an audience full of Nazis). So, I have started a couple new pieces. I feel great about them.
- Conversation with Pablo D’Stair. I’ve never met anyone more passionate about literature than this guy. He thrives on conversation about words. He isn’t interested in profiting from his writing, nor is he interested in helping others to profit. He is the consummate literary philosopher. Over the last month or so, we’ve had a great back-and-forth via email about Charactered Pieces (and writing in general), that I understand he intends to print as part of a rebirth of his magazine, Predicate. He pulled a lot out of me that had been simmering for a number of years. More on this to come once it is printed.
So, the lesson: I’m not as lazy and fat as I thought. (more…)