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Posts By Caleb J. Ross

began writing his sophomore year of undergrad study when, tired of the formal art education then being taught, he abandoned the pursuit in the middle of a compositional drawing class. Major-less and fearful of losing his financial aid, he signed up to seek a degree in English Literature for no other reason than his lengthy history with the language. Coincidentally, this decision not only introduced him to writing but to reading as well. Prior this transition he had read three books. One of which he understood.

Baxter once said that a man in the woods was about the purest thing there was in the world, and the closest he could come to knowing God. A man can never buy with money this thing that the Lord gave him for free, he said. That sense of awe and respect one derives from the trees and the earth and all things that dwell in between them. He told Jacob that poetry was all around him, in the grass and on the surface of the leaves, and that the Bible was full of good words designed to mimic what could never be written, but could sometimes be heard and always seen—the rising water, the falling rain, the rush of river and wind, the passage of cloud banks and great ruminant herds, buffalo and elk and the trailing packs of carnivores, both man and wild dog, wanderers all, in endless…

Sir Mix-a-Lot takes back his stance on big butts

I present part two of my however-many-it-takes part series to get a book deal based on my amazing, 100(ish)% true exploits as a hobbyist blame-taker. However, instead of being only an instigator in big news, I want to report it. Below is my first official Blame Caleb Exclusive! (BCE)--Gluteal aficionado reverses his long-held controversial stance on large asses. Says Mr. A-Lot: “They just aren’t exotic anymore.” Sir Mix-A-Lot became famous after the 1992 release of his pro-butt cheek manifesto, “Baby Got Back,” currently in its 34th pressing. The release of this manifesto took both the intellectual and libidinal communities by storm. “The problem is that too many white boys did in fact shout,” Mix-a-Lot says in reference to a particularly layered passage in which he implies the reluctance of Caucasian males to express sexual interest. “Once the mainstream embraced my philosophy, Rump-o'-smooth-skin’s no longer suffered insecurities about their shape. So…

I have noticed that over the past decade readers have been subjected to a trend in non-fiction book cover design. I am referring to the use of a white background to frame a single, striking element. For example:   I understand the appeal from a marketing perspective. As online book buying grows in popularity, the book spine is becoming less important to shoppers. Instead, the idea with white-framed covers is to create as much visual distance and isolation with a book so as to set it apart from its surrounding mosaic. An added benefit for non-fiction books in particular is the sense of authority that comes with a single image. This says, "I am an expert on this topic. I am not going to stray into superfluous details. Prepare to learn." I like the look, but I dislike the trend. I am a grump, though, and dislike most trends. I…

Just when you thought you had over a year before getting offended by a book from me (I Didn’t Mean to Be Kevin, November 2011), I go and do something crazy like sign with another publisher to release a novel in March 2011. Stranger Will, a noir story of apathy and abortion, is coming early next year from Otherworld Publications. Otherworld Publications is a young publisher, but one with an impressive drive to promote its authors. This fact is not the sole reason I signed with them, though. This press seems to have acknowledged something that I, and the below authors, have known for a long time: The Velvet and The Cult are cesspools of untapped talent. Of the 11 current Otherworld authors (some noted on the Otherworld site, others not yet public knowledge), 5 have grown up at The Velvet and/or The Cult forums. I think we have Mr.…

(part of my ongoing Unexpected Literary References series) The episode of Futurama titled Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences featured a suspiciously eReader-esque device (pictured in the above screenshot, though the episode contained better images of the device), which got me thinking, yet again, about my inevitable adoption of an eReader. I've held off so far for two main reasons: I simply like having books. Yes, possibly just to show off for my two friends who would be impressed by a bookshelf, but also because I feel that the nurtured associations of a book--the smell, the feel of the pages, the statement of class--are part of the reading experience and actually add to the overall gratification of a finished book. No single eReader delivers what I want. And what do I want? Low price point. Overall, eReaders have recently dropped in price, which is encouraging. But still I feel that $149 is too much. E-ink…

Below is the list of the top ten most frequently challenged books of 2009 as gathered from the American Library Association website. I completely understand the low priority some place upon books compared to other forms of media. However, I don’t understand why books would need to be burned. Think of it this way, if I had two children, I would probably like one more than the other. That doesn’t mean I should burn one (I’ll let the sun do that, when I allow my least favorite child to play outside all day without sunblock. Blame averted). Being invested in the publishing industry, I feel I should fight back. Note: I have not read all of these books, nor do I know what many of them are even about. But if I’ve learned anything from the mere existence of a banned books list, it is that arguments don’t have to…

I bring you #4 of a hopefully long-lived series: Kansas City Reading Coves. When I can, I like my coves like my burning crosses: smokey and offensive to most. Today’s cove: Cigar & Tabac, Ltd - 6898 West 105th Street, Overland Park, KS 66212-1801 I have purchased many a cigar in this place over the last year or so, each time bypassing the giant leather couches for the equally giant walk-in humidor stationed along this small shop's north wall. I envied the old men each time, wishing I had a few moments to crash, take in a cigar, a book, and a few overheard conversations regarding golf or lawn care or something else just as fitting to the cigar stereotype. This evening, my birthday, I finally allowed myself a few moments to live this dream. For the most part, my envy was justified. But what comes with romanticizing a book…

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