Author: Caleb J. Ross

  • The Simpsons creates a market for messenger pigeons; Oddities a market for oddities

    (part of my ongoing Unexpected Literary References series)

    Last night’s The Simpsons struck me as especially coincidental. Not only have I posted about the show twice in the past week (11/26/10 and 11/24/10), but the episode shares subject matter with my upcoming novel, Stranger Will. Of all things, messenger pigeons. Random.

    What makes it even stranger (no pun intended…unless you laughed; then, pun intended) is that literally ten minutes before the episode aired, I was doing some messenger pigeon related research online.

    Fingers crossed that The Simpsons starts a cultural demand for messenger pigeon paraphernalia.

    UPDATE: Making this an official night of stringed coincidences, I happened upon a Science channel show called Oddities, which features a museum/store full of specimens meant for the morbid (mummified cats, taxidermied two-headed cows, and so much more). This could possibly be my new favorite show.

    But the coincidental part; the shop featured in this show has the same morbid interest factor as the World of Human Oddities featured in my forthcoming novel I Didn’t Mean to Be Kevin.

    The takeaways here are:

    1. If you like The Simpsons, you will automatically love Stranger Will.
    2. If you like The Science Channel, you will automatically love I Didn’t Mean to Be Kevin.

    I think thees are fair conclusions.

  • Rémi Carreiro makes the important part of books

    Rémi Carreiro makes the important part of books

    Most of you have liars for parents. Most of you were probably given the stork spiel when asked age-inappropriate questions about the origins of things. Some of you may have been told the truth, in graphic detail, from honest, though morally disinterested, parents. I’m here to tell you the truth. Birds and bees have nothing to do with it. Rémi Carreiro is responsible. Rémi Carreiro gives birth to book covers. Also, he may have some kids; I don’t know.

    When mocking up cover designs for Stranger Will, I began by searching for some seed images. Quickly, and thankfully, I found Rémi Carreiro’s Flickr gallery. While I ultimately chose his Park Bench image for the cover (well, actually readers of this blog chose the image, via a vote), this guy has some amazing images, many of which feel so perfect for book covers. See what I mean:

    NOTE: The images captioned as “original” are the untouched amazing Carreiro photos. The book covers show my modifications. These aren’t real books and are only intended to showcase how perfect Carreiro’s photos are for covers. Are you listening publishers?

    Bright White (original)
    Bright White (modified cover)
    Spruce Court Sunset (original)
    Spruce Court Sunset (modified cover)

    And this one just screams to be a wrap-around cover:

    Opposing Views (original)
    Opposing Views (modified cover)

    Many, many thanks to Mr. Carreiro for offering his Park Bench image. If you want a print of your own, you should buy Stranger Will. The image will come with its very own 250 page wall-mount.

  • Weekdays with The Simpsons Literary References

    Weekdays with The Simpsons Literary References

    (part of my ongoing Unexpected Literary References series)

    I caught a rerun of The Simpsons a few days ago, one in which the author of Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom, makes a cameo. I wish for less popular books and authors to get The Simpsons treatment, but I say that only because I am a less popular author with a less popular book. Hint, hint, The Simpsons. Trust me, Matt Groening, you’ll need my mediocre grasp of pop culture and my general irrelevance to stay alive for another 20 years. Also, you’ll need miracle medicine. What are you, like 70 years old?

    Season 21 Episode 9 "Thursdays With Abie"

    In this same episode, Grandpa Abe tells a story about how he introduced the book Gone With The Wind to an ungrateful Clark Gable. Unfortunately, I could not come across a good screenshot of the book itself, so this image will have to suffice.

  • “Simpsons did it,” The Simpsons says to Stephen King

    “Simpsons did it,” The Simpsons says to Stephen King

    (part of my ongoing Unexpected Literary References series)

    In yet another The Simpsons (un)expected literary reference, Stephen King’s novel, Under the Dome is called out for its similarities to the 2007 The Simpsons Movie, both stories incorporating a town-sized dome to seal people off from the outside world. The overt commentary may be a further play on the South Park episode,  “The Simpsons Already Did it,” which explores the degree to which The Simpsons has embedded itself into our collective consciousness.

    The screenshot below appears in Season 22 : Ep. 6, “The Fool Monty.”

    burnesunderthedome

  • The real reason authors get paid nil: content saturation.

    The real reason authors get paid nil: content saturation.

    Another Roxane Gay® observation gets the Caleb jumping-on-board treatment. In her post over at HTML Giant, Gay talks about the James Frey writing factory, and how its existence speaks to the strange desperation of writers (particularly MFA-pursuing writers) to be published, even when facing little to no financial or celebrity gain. The following line caught me, and while powerful in its own right, my mis-reading is what really got me thinking. Brackets: MINE ( I had to insert something of myself into this statement as a meta-nod to the topic)

    “The desire to be published, for some [reason], is so desperate and so intense they will do whatever it takes.”

    Why?

    Answer: We are trained to be ego maniacs.

    The loudest, most boastful vainglorious attitude gets applauded while humility gets ignored. This is not surprising, as the very act of braggadocia is a stimuli. It doesn’t matter that silence (which implies humility) is the very nature of books. Reality TV continues to be made, and reality TV stars continue to get book deals.

    Social networking and Blogging have taught us that even if what we have to say isn’t worth anything, we are for some reason less human if we don’t say it. And because the worldwide target marketing demographic thinks so too, those who say the most, the loudest, will find favor with publishers.

    I’ve got to give credit to the reading populace, though. Books have managed to outlast other forms of leisure in terms of resisting the ego. First magazines. Then TV. Then Movies. But now, unfortunately, it seems books are only successful when they inspire the hope of a movie adaptation.

    The truth is, not everyone has something worthy of wide attention. Yes, each person has something important to say, but often that thing is important to a small group of people (family and friends – which is where Vanity and Print on Demand come into play, but that’s for another post). Book publishing was at one time the main way give the widely-important IDEAS (caps intentional) a larger audience. Today, literally every thought, whether minutely or widely important, has the same range. I have as much potential to reach the world with my Tweeted fart joke as the President does with his Tweeted fart joke. Social blogging culture has simultaneously trained us to over-inflate the importance of our ideas AND give us a world-wide platform for those ideas. Hell, I’m a victim to this right now.

    But as with everything, even idea saturation (and the vanishing author advances that comes with it) does have benefits.

    As a physically weak man, I embrace that people are allowed to exist in their heads, now. Manual labor isn’t necessarily the common proof of societal participation and benefit. Words and thoughts are now as visible as sweat and dirt. You used to have to afford a suit and nice care to be thought of as beneficial to society in terms of your intellect. Now, a base understanding of HTML and an internet connection will do just fine.

    And hopefully, if monetary gain becomes less viable, only the widely important ideas will rise.

  • The Velvet Podcast, Episode 009: Does This Novel Make Me Look Fat?

    The Velvet Podcast, Episode 009: Does This Novel Make Me Look Fat?

    Episode #009 of The Velvet Podcast is now live!

    Authors Gordon Highland (Major Inversions), Brandon Tietz (Out of Touch), and Caleb J Ross (Stranger Will) have a spirited conversation about self- and vanity-publishing, debating its legitimacy, logistics, and financial aspects, as well as insights from their own experiences in this oft-scorned segment of the industry.

    Please, give it a listen. Subscribe via Feedburner, Podcast Alley, or iTunes.

  • Prematurity affects more than just you and your spouse

    Prematurity affects more than just you and your spouse

    My wife told me that today was prematurity awareness day. Alright, alright, I get it. You could have been a little more subtle with the suggestion, but I get it.

    Hey, this problem is no picnic for me either…

    …what?

    Whoops.

    What I mean is, boooooo premature birth.

    My boy was five weeks premature. He had a few health issues, but he’s perfect now. He’s one of the lucky ones. Nobody knows why so many babies are born premature, but with continued education, awareness, and funding, maybe we’ll find out soon. Please, take a few moments to peruse the March of Dimes site. Shed a few tears. Pretend you had something in your eye. Then smooth everything over with your friends by talking about football and fantasy leagues.